Ello peeps, I was kidnapped by alex and taken to a strange and wonderful place, high in the mountains of some far off land where I was forced to find my inner self by a series of prods with red-hot pokers.

I was then rewarded for my achievement by a bevvy of pleasures (not by alex, who had wandered off by then, evidently bored by the whole situation) and thrown down a mountain, where I had to hitch-hike my way back home.

I feel much better now, refreshed and ready for the continuing fight for spiritual enlightenment.